Women’s Month 2020

To kick off Women’s Month I wrote a reflective post on Instagram:

“Reflections as we begin women’s month – I try to surround myself with women who are genuine, supportive, and real. This is why I try to keep a safe distance from those that don’t have similar values. It’s not about judging or finding flaws in these individuals – it is simply about accepting their differences, but also loving yourself enough to avoid situations that will hinder your personal peace. I have no time for the competitive ones, or those that have no respect for relationships, for the ones that feel the need to put others down to elevate themselves, or those who believe they are better than even just one other human. This sentiment extends to men as well. And reading this, you might think, “but isn’t women’s month about empowering women?” YES, it is. I am empowering you to choose YOURSELF, draw a line that signifies your safe space, and only allow those who fill your cup into it. To those who are that for me, I love you and I will always be grateful for the nooks of my heart in which I carry you. And to those who aren’t – I see you, I wish you well, and I wish you happiness. Just not within my line of peace and self-love.”

And now, to cap off the month of March – I am going to share a little bit more on the topic.

If you are wondering why I chose these 3 specific characteristics in those I hold dear, it is because I’ve noticed that as I grow older, these are the things that I value the most and try to uphold within myself. Many may wondered why I didn’t value kindness or honesty, loyalty or love. The reason why, is because I can’t expect perfection from others, when I myself am flawed. Let’s take ‘kindness’ for example – realistically, we cannot always be kind. I have friends that I have seen become unkind when pushed to the limit. My husband isn’t always kind, not at work where mistakes are inevitable. My teenage daughter isn’t always kind, especially when she is hormonal. But then again, nor is my toddler when she is learning to navigate through social situations. I am definitely not kind 100% of the time. Though this is a virtue I want to impart on my daughters – we are imperfect beings. Sometimes our kindness will be challenged – same with our loyalty, trust, patience, honesty – and that is ok. This is something I can understand, forgive and accept.

I value individuals who are genuine, supportive and real because these are traits that are ingrained and won’t hinder just because you are having a bad day. These characteristics cannot be taught either. But most importantly, you have to value being true to yourself and who you are – imperfections and all – to truly hone these traits.

Genuine

To me, a person who is genuine is someone who always has the best of intentions in everything they do. If there is anything that these scary times have shown, it is the true colors of many individuals. Supposed leaders, or those who hold power. I have even seen so many use their faith and belief in God to try to prove the goodness of their intentions. But when push comes to shove have shown that they are willing to do what it takes to get what they truly want, no matter who suffers in the process. I cannot handle the hypocrisy. Though the religion cry is just an example, I feel like it is the most prominent in Manila society. Your mass and confessions wont save you.

Supportive

Ah, the concept of being ‘supportive.’ This is a characteristic I find very rare these days. Especially in a time wherein sharing the most intimate parts of ourselves with our circle as well as with the rest of the world has become the norm. I am lucky to have found those rare few that really support me. And even if it’s not in every aspect of your life – even if it’s only in the ways they know how – these are the gems. If you have someone in your life who supports your small business, or someone who sits with you and stands by you when you are at your worst, or even just someone that will push you to always put yourself first – Don’t ever let them go.

Real

Social media has given us the power to be whoever we want to be – display what we want to show and bury what we want to keep hidden. And though there is nothing wrong with painting the very best picture of yourself, there is a line between what is real and what is fake. And unfortunately, because our lives have become so parallel to and interlinked our social media platforms, sometimes individuals lose sight of who they really are. For me, it just becomes difficult to respect these kinds of individuals. I love being online, but only care to truly live in reality.

Hope this resonates with some of you out there. Until my next one, please stay healthy, try to stay sane, and always stay safe.

Love and Light.